Mind Your Manners: Re-entry Into public life after a year of being feral - Charleston Gazette-Mail

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Last week, during a Zoom meeting with my team, there was excited chatter from those who had received their COVID-19 vaccines and others who were anxiously awaiting theirs. Everyone was discussing what they intend to do after vaccination.

Most said they couldn’t wait to visit a restaurant with friends, and were really looking forward to just sitting and conversing over a good meal with those they hadn’t been able to see in person since the beginning of the pandemic.

During this conversation, however, one of my team members made a remark that stuck with me. She said she had become a bit feral since lock down, and was concerned about re-entry into public life, especially dining out.

“I’m not sure I’ll remember how to eat properly in public. In fact, I’m a bit apprehensive about it,” she admitted. Surprisingly, others on the call agreed.

It wasn’t long after that meeting I read an article about this very issue by Emily Heil in the Washington post, entitled, “Help, I’ve gone feral! After a year away from restaurants, I need a refresher course.”

It made me realize that my team members are not alone. After more than a year of, as the article states, “dining in sweat pants, while sitting cross legged at the table,” others may also be experiencing this hesitation and unease about their public dining debuts.

While I have complete faith we will all snap back to pre-pandemic manners, below is a quick refresher on basic, proper dining skills to help ease the worries of those a bit anxious for re-entry:

n When you are seated, remember to put your napkin on your lap. If you have been invited to dinner, then wait for your host or hostess to first put their napkin on their lap.

n Ladies, before being seated at the table, consider blotting your lips with a tissue to help avoid getting lipstick stains on the rim of your glass or cloth napkin.

n Remember the car BMW when trying to determine what each piece of tableware is for: B stands for bread plate (which will be to your left); M stands for meal (which obviously will be in the center); and W stands for water, which will be on your right.

n If there are numerous utensils at your place setting, remember to start with those furthest from the rim of your plate. In other words, start from the outside and work your way towards your plate with each course.

n If silverware is placed at the top of your place setting, it is for dessert.

n Remember what our elders taught us growing up: Chew with your mouth closed. Speaking of this, I witnessed more than my share of people not following this advice during Zoom meetings. If you are going to eat during a Zoom meeting, please be polite and turn your camera off.

n Elbows off the table. However, when there is no food at your place setting, such as before the meal, between courses or after the meal, you may rest them on the table

n Try not to lean over your plate while eating as if your knife, fork or spoon is so heavy it is weighing you down.

n When you have finished eating, place your napkin to the left of your plate.

In addition to the above, I also turned to my friend and popular chef Paul Smith to discuss re-entry angst some may be experiencing.

He recommended to simply be happy just being with friends and experiencing food together. He also asked that diners be patient and remember that most servers will still be masked (and so will patrons when they’re not eating or drinking), so communication may be a bit more difficult.

Smith said it would be very helpful if, when speaking, you project your voice and speak clearly when you order. He added that servers may be tasked with additional chores, such as complying with more frequent sanitation procedures, which may slow service. Some restaurants may be a bit short-staffed as well, so please be patient.

Stating that food is “super subjective,” Smith said you can ask 100 people to taste something, and you will probably get 100 different responses. He suggested refraining from being an armchair quarterback.

“If you don’t like the way something tastes, or are displeased with the service, then say something. Give the restaurant a chance to fix the problem BEFORE posting on social media. After all, we’re human too, and we’re all navigating re-entry,” he said.

As Lizzie Post from the Emily Post Institute said in the article I referenced, “Manners are something far more fundamental than a nitpicky code governing the proper use of finger bowls. It’s a way of recognizing and acknowledging the world around you and the way your behavior affects it. We’re polite because we care about our fellow man, and as long as we focus on that, the old muscle memory that prompted us to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ will return.”

I couldn’t agree more.

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Mind Your Manners: Re-entry Into public life after a year of being feral - Charleston Gazette-Mail
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